Restlessness

It's hard to see your friends in trouble... but the worst part is to feel powerless about it... I get restless, wishing there was something I could do... I just hope today is a good day.

the Masks we wear

I thought i was the only one with a mask, but it wasn't until i drop my own that i realized that everybody wears them... i don't think it is intentional, it's a natural thing, the human machine adapts itself to it's surroundings which include other machines like it. This is a natural thing because the human computer it programmed for it... (I think i know a little about this, let's see...) masks are somewhat like interfaces... they only show what other people need to know about you... i think they are automatically created as you get to know other people better and know what you can and cannot expose... it's quite an interesting mechanism... it's interesting to try to notice how one person acts diferently arround different people... it's even more interesting if you try to notice this in yourslef... maybe you cannot... maybe you don't want to... but you most surely do it it's not my fault...

Flesh and blood

Humans, Mortals, whatever we are called by, we are just machines made with special parts, flesh and blood... heart and soul... sometimes a mind... that provides us with the ability to chose the path, the next step... good or evil, maybe not directly, but every action has consequences, some are good, some are not so good... not good at all...

Also, we see and hear, smell, taste and feel, not only physically... the most important part is inside... there are emotions... sometimes they are hard to deal with... they'll hit you out of nowhere and make you do things you never thought you could or would. It is important not to ignore them, but we are not alone, and our action have influence in other people's lives... so what to do next? What is more important then? Be happy? What makes us happy? Maybe someone can be happy just by making someone else happy, so what's the best for that person? Again, the value of words. People live their live the best they can according to their values, but what seems good for someone may not be the best for another someone... Same thing happens with the seek for happiness... what we do to search for our own happiness may hurt people... can we live with that? what to do then... hurt or be hurt? in the end nothing matters, because we are just flesh and blood... ashes to ashes... dust to dust... fade to black... .. does the memory remains?

Words that hurt

Some words can hurt. It's amazing all the different sorts of reactions words can have on us... if someone says something you like you'll most likely experience a bit of happiness... if someone insults you, that may result in anger, disappointment or sadness... sometimes the same words can make you feel differently according to many factors... for example, the person who speaks them... sometimes, they don't even have to be spoken.... but... The words that hurt the most, are the most beautiful ones... specially when they express something you cannot have... like love... an impossible kind of love... Love is a funny word... powerful, enough to make you feel the ultimate happiness, but also able to make you feel miserable...

Looking for love is a dangerous path, but... In the end is just another word... One that can be spoken out loud... it can... trully... We shouldn't be depending on words so much.

WYSIWYG

What You See Is What You Get

but the world changes, or maybe the way we look at the world changes...

what you see, may be that you get, but every time you look, you'll probably get a diferent thing...

Honest Lies

When words are spoken, you might choose to believe them or not... but sometimes, people seem rather to believe nice and sweet words (even if obviously lies) over true words.
It's hard to know when to believe in words or which words to believe... it's also hard sometimes to speak the truth, perhaps when you know it might hurt someone...

Is lying a bad thing? There are all kinds of lies, but in every one there's the intention of making someone believe an untruth... is that condemnable? Even if it is, it's in human nature to do this, maybe over fear, or some other reason, for example, a kid that doesn't even have a the notion of lie, makes ups stories to cover up some mess he made because he doesn't want to be punished...

People lie, wheather they want to or not, it may be bad, it may be condemnable but we do it...

I think lying is good, I like to lie... I lie to make up funny things, when I lie anyone who hears my words knows, the minute I speak them, they are not true, but nobody gets mad, they find it laughable... sometimes... a few times... all right, I’m no fun, but I like to make up them stories...

Honestly

Sharing words

Communication has it's mysteries, the definition of communication states that there must be an emitter and a receiver, a medium and a message, the message is transmitted from the emitter to the receiver through the medium. One of the problems with communication is noise or interference, that's why the most important part of it is to make sure the message was understood by the receiver as the emitter meant it to be. It is interesting to notice that this is often forgotten, and can lead to misunderstandings... it's also interesting to see that sometimes the misunderstandings are bound to a different phenomenon, the personal acknowledgement of words.
The meaning of words is personal, and sometimes the message is sent out using words that have different meaning to the receiver, distorting the emitter's initial idea. Other times, the messasge is interpreted differently based on the idea the receiver has of the emmiter. This means that not only words are labeled and sorted out in pretty little shelves in our minds, but also people, even our own friends.

Dreaming of perfection

Perfection... there is no such thing as perfection, at least nothing or no one is truly perfect. There's always hope... There's always dream... People try to live their lives the best they can, trying to accomplish their dreams... but, do dreams come true? Sometimes, I’d say many times dreams do become true but, is it perfect?
People not only give meaning to words, but also value. This value represents the importance of each word to each person. This will influence every aspect of life... some "words" have such a small value that you may think that they have no effect on your life what so ever, but the truth is that consciously or unconsciously , sooner or later it will interfere somehow in the pursuit of a dream.
	Ultimately nothing is perfect, and dreaming is natural as is seeking to fulfill those dreams in a perfect way... but in the end there's only time and chance... Perfection is about making the right choice at the right time...

片翼の天使

Katayoku no Tenshi (one winged angel)

Estuans interius Ira vehementi Estuans interius Ira vehementi Sephiroth! Sephiroth! Estuans interius Ira vehementi Estuans interius Ira vehementi Sephiroth! Sephiroth! Sors - immanis Et inanis Sors - immanis Et inanis Estuans interius Ira vehementi Estuans interius Ira vehementi Sephiroth! Sephiroth! Veni veni venias Ne me mori facias Veni veni venias Ne me mori facias Veni veni venias (Gloriosa) Ne me mori facias (Generosa) Veni veni venias (Gloriosa) Ne me mori facias (Generosa) Sephiroth! Sephiroth!

Burning inside with violent anger Burning inside with violent anger Sephiroth! Sephiroth! Burning inside with violent anger Burning inside with violent anger Sephiroth! Sephiroth! Fate - monstrous and empty Fate - monstrous and empty Burning inside with violent anger Burning inside with violent anger Sephiroth! Sephiroth! Come, come, O come, do not let me die Come, come, O come, do not let me die Come, come, O come, (Glorious) do not let me die (Noble) Come, come, O come, (Glorious) do not let me die (Noble) Sephiroth! Sephiroth!

Mindless

Someone once said that words have meaning but how do people know what each word represents? the human mind works in a funny way, when a word is learnt for the first time it's associated with it's meaning... now if you are mindless you can stick with that for your entire life, and think of it as an absolute truth.

But if you have the willingness to learn, every time you hear that word in a different context you will be able to find a new meaning for it, completing the knowledge you have, perfecting the way you will be able think in the future.

This is a very interesting process, sometimes the old meaning is completely erased, other times you find that only part of it applies, while the new meaning is discarded a few times... but the valueable part of this is that you always learn something.

Learn

Learning... it sure is amazing, the ability to learn, people learn from anything, i mean if you have the willingness to do it... but that's also something you learn...

First Words are always Synthetic Words

I’m not sure why i’m writting in here… it’s wierd, i was never a blog-type guy, i used to think of them as suiting other people, not me, ho no… why waste time… i don’t even know how to write… i’ve always been afraid of words, why use them? They don’t mean anything, it’s just words… a bunch of letters put toghether…

Meaning – but words do have meanings… some are strong, some are wrong, some are long, some are just nothing… but they all have meaning… some people have a gift to use words but not me. Sometimes i wish i could sort them all out, know the meaning of all the words, but the fun part… oh yes, the fun part is to learn them. Once you know everything boredom takes over.

This brings me to the purpose of this post (not that it has any interest what so ever), but words – that’s basically what people use to comunicate - i believe that my problem with words is bound to the belief that a majority of people lie using words, that’s why words have always sounded like fake to me, thus my problem using them – I didn’t want to be a fake.

But there’s no other way to express your feelings, words are every where : in speech, in written text, in your eyesight… whatever you see, your brain translates in words, you can tell someone to “fuck off” with a finger… or is it a word? It’s a word, and a damn ugly one…why? I’ll leave that for another time… now i need to explain why everyword is synthetic…

For a simple reason - we are machines. The human is the most imperfect machine ever “built”… but that’s exactly what makes it so perfect… we build machines for everything we cannot do, but there’s one ability that no other machine has… the ability to believe in words.

I’m pretty sure everyone knows how wierd i am by now, but i hope someone can see through my synthetic words.